by AMY HAVIS
THERE’S NO GOOD CARD FOR THIS meets THE ART OF SHOWING UP
Want to help someone who’s grieving but don’t know what to say?
Not all losses come with instructions. And most of us are never taught what to say when someone is grieving—so we say nothing at all.
WHAT NOT TO SAY AT A FUNERAL is a warm, honest, and unexpectedly humorous guide to showing up when words fail. After losing her infant daughter, Amy Havis came face to face with how ill-equipped most of us are—not just to grieve our own losses, but to support one another through them.
Drawing from lived experience, real-life scenarios, and hard-earned insight, Havis offers practical guidance for friends, families, coworkers, and communities navigating loss together.
Part narrative non-fiction, part social guide, the book invites readers to let go of platitudes, resist silence, and choose presence instead. For grievers and the people who love them, WHAT NOT TO SAY AT A FUNERAL is a compassionate reminder that imperfect presence is often the most meaningful thing we can offer.
In the spirit of THERE IS NO GOOD CARD FOR THIS, THE ART OF SHOWING UP, and IT’S OK THAT YOU’RE NOT OKAY, WHAT NOT TO SAY AT A FUNERAL speaks to the moments when comfort feels impossible and silence often takes over.
GENRES
- Narrative Non-fiction
- Self-Help/Personal Growth
- Social Guidance/Communication
- Grief & Loss
- Humorous Grief
THEMES
- Grief and mourning
- Showing up and presence
- Empathy and compassion
- Communication during hard moments
- Awkwardness and silence
- Community and support systems
- Workplace grief and professional boundaries
- Loss of a child/pregnancy loss
- Emotional honesty vs. toxic positivity
- Care without fixing
REVIEWS!
“With humor, humility, and profound vulnerability, Havis gracefully and honestly tackles the subject we so often avoid. Blending personal narrative with thoughtful research and practical wisdom, WHAT NOT TO SAY AT A FUNERAL offers compassionate guidance for when life’s worst ‘what-ifs’ become reality. This book goes beyond telling us what to say. It teaches us how to show up. A wise and deeply human guide reminding us that in moments of loss, presence matters more than perfection.” –Katherine Rose Woller, bestselling author of Calling It Off: Memoir of an Almost Bride